While there are numerous reasons where conflict in a marriage or a committed relationship can arise, infidelity is one that can cause the most pain or distrust. Although those feelings are perfectly understandable, it is possible to recover and even strengthen a couple’s commitment to one another. Sorting through and making sense of such a range of emotions can seem to be impossible. Seeking help from a trained, experienced, and professional counsellor can help couples navigate through these difficult situations.
With more than 20 years of experience, I can provide a safe space to begin understanding the right path to take on such an emotional journey. Whether the end result is a strong and renewed commitment or one that may involve a temporary or permanent separation I can help you understand which is the right one for you.
Not all cases of infidelity involve sexual contact. The meaning of infidelity can differ from person to person or even between a couple. There are other situations where one or both within a relationship may feel that have been cheated on such as:
- An emotional connection with someone outside of the relationship
- An online relationship
- An online sexual relationship
Infidelity can happen among couples who have been experiencing conflict or even within ones that otherwise appear to be well balanced and happy. Some of the reasons that infidelity does occur may include:
- Unaddressed or long-standing unresolved conflict
- Lack of affection
- Physical health issue like a disability or chronic pain
- Depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues
- Addiction to drugs, sex, or alcohol
- Fear of intimacy by one partner
- Major life changes such as becoming a parent or children leaving home
While the pain of the person who has been cheated on is very real and warranted, the one who has been unfaithful also suffers the feeling that they may never be forgiven and the fear of losing everything.
After an affair has been discovered, thinking calmly and clearly enough to make any long-term decisions is next to impossible. It important to take a step a step back and consider the following:
- Do not make any rash decisions right away
- Give each other space. Be aware that in the moment you may be tempted to make decisions that you otherwise never do
- Give yourself time. You may insist on learning the intimate details of the affair. Doing this without the help and guidance of a trained professional can potentially cause greater harm.
As a trained and experienced relationship counsellor, I can help you decide whether or not reconciliation is possible. Both people may wish to attempt to rebuild their relationship and are looking for ways to strengthen their commitment to each other.
As a professional, I can help you find the path that is right for both of you, whether it be reconciliation or separation. The critical thing to remember is that this is a serious issue and should not be managed on your own.
